Quieting Negative Self-Talk

We are often unaware of the negative things we tell ourselves. These thoughts over time may become so ingrained that we assume they are reality. We actually begin to believe these thoughts are fact- not just feelings that can be processed and dealt with. For example, if you are a person who worries, you may expect the worst possible thing to happen. You may “catastrophize” situations even though the truth is that the worst thing rarely happens. 

What negative things does your brain tell you?

Does it tell you that you’re not smart or capable?

Does it tell you that a goal you have isn’t attainable?

Does it tell you what other people think of you?

Now, what is the reality? What is the proof- the evidence– of these negative ideas? Does reality support any of them? You have to ask yourself these questions.

Sometimes people think they aren’t smart because they struggled in school, but school only measures certain types of intelligence; it certainly doesn’t measure all of our abilities. Someone I know always struggled with spelling and retaining information in school, but she can sew circles around people, she makes beautiful quilts, and she is an avid mystery reader. She clearly has talents and skills that school simply didn’t attempt to measure. 

In what ways are you intelligent? Are you compassionate? Are you a leader or are you an awesome supporter (because being an awesome supporter is critical to the functioning of our world)? Can you fix things? Do you understand complicated mechanical issues? Are you able to get indoor plants to survive? Do you have a special knack for cleaning things to a pristine shine? Can you draw? Are you able to put together an outstanding outfit that gets you compliments? 

If you have a dream, is it really unattainable? Have you tried to make the dream come true or are you just assuming it won’t come true?

Do you actually know what other people think of you? Are you a mind reader? Have you asked them or do you just assume to know what they think? 

When our brains are telling us negative things, it is important to ask our brains some questions, like the ones above and not just decide to sit in our own little worlds. Sometimes our brains don’t know as much as they think they do. Hold on to inspirational messages and quotes like the ones you find here in our articles every week. One of my personal favorites is, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are absolutely right”. And that’s the truth. Don’t limit yourself. Go out and live the life you dream of. 

About Deedee Cummings

As a therapist, attorney, author, and CEO of Make A Way Media, Deedee Cummings has a passion for making the world a better place. All 16 of Cummings’ diverse picture, poetry, and workbooks for kids reflect her professional knowledge and love of life. Colorful and vibrant, her children’s books are not only fun for kids and adults to read, they also work to teach coping skills, reinforce the universal message of love, encourage mindfulness, and facilitate inclusion for all. Cummings has spent more than two decades working within the family therapy and support field and much of her writing shares her experiences of working with kids in therapeutic foster care. As a result, her catalogs of published books for kids are filled with positive, hopeful messages. Using therapeutic techniques in her stories to teach coping skills, Cummings also strives to lessen the stigma that some people feel when it comes to receiving mental health assistance.
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