As a nation, we’ve gotten better about talking about our feelings, which hopefully means we’ve gotten a little better about paying attention to our feelings. It is important to acknowledge how we feel about things and plumb those feelings to understand where they come from. But sometimes, especially on social media, we allow our feelings to get carried away, and that may make our fingers type things that aren’t kind or accurate.
It isn’t abnormal to first feel, then act. Especially when it comes to an emotion like fear. This is after all how our human ancestors survived. Of course, now, lives have gotten much more complicated and nuanced. While being threatened by a saber-toothed tiger is a pretty bright-line situation, the things we deal with in modern life, such as immigration policy, homeowners’ associations, and unemployment insurance, may not be as clear-cut.
Have you ever seen an article on Facebook or X and read the comments that people make? There is, of course, nothing wrong with commenting, but the nature of social media makes it darn near impossible to have a healthy, deep conversation about any topic, especially with strangers. This is partly because people tend to react, rather than think. Sometimes people react and respond to comments about an article without ever reading the article at all. Or they react and respond, forgetting )or maybe not even caring) that a human being is on the other side of the article or comment.
You may have had a thought similar to these when you’ve read an online post or news story:
- I’m shocked. How could someone do that?
- What are these people thinking?
- Are they bananas?
Our initial reactions can cause us stress, or make us angry or fearful, and if we type a comment while we’re feeling this way, it can be hurtful.
Taking time to step back and think can be really helpful, not only to our mental health but to the entire experience of social media. Asking ourselves some questions can help calm us down and prevent us from lashing out at others in online forums.
It is helpful to think about how social media can make us feel and how this power that social media has to affect our esteem, our mood, and our ability to slow down a little and think about whether it is even worth making a comment to begin with. When you feel bad, you may act badly and this is something we all need to reflect on.
One of the best questions to ask oneself is “Why would I think this person (or this group of persons) is different from me?” It is easy to lump people into categories or to fall back on prejudices or preconceived ideas.
Most people have a lot more in common than differences. Most people want to work and take pride in a job well done. Most people love their families. Most people want to go about their lives and not hurt others. And the rest… welllllll… it’s not worth arguing with them anyway.
Taking a moment to pay attention to how you feel in the moment, and not react to our first feeling, can help us have more empathy for ourselves and for others.