The month of May is a time when we commemorate and appreciate both mothers and teachers. For so many people, it was with their mothers and teachers that they learned the importance of empathy. They learned to treat others the way they wish to be treated. They learned the importance of apology and forgiveness.
But we can think about teaching and mothering more broadly than just individual mothers or teachers since not every mother-child or teacher-student relationship is or was positive. For some people, the idea of associating teaching and mothering with specific people is painful.
Let’s think about the ideals we associate with teaching and mothering: compassion, love, gentleness, loyalty, commitment. Someone who cheerleads for us. Someone who wishes us the best in our efforts.
The hope is that eventually if we’ve been lovingly mothered and taught, we can mother and teach ourselves. We don’t need someone else to do those things for us.
Of course, we don’t live in a perfect world. Many of us struggle to treat ourselves as an ideal mother or teacher would. We aren’t compassionate, loving, gentle, loyal, or committed. We doubt ourselves and have an internal dialogue with ourselves that is simply brutal.
This month when mothering and teaching are celebrated, think about how you mother and teach yourself. How do you love yourself? How do you believe that you are worthy of love and self-care?
- Are your remarks to yourself cutting and cruel, or do you speak to yourself with gentleness?
- When you try something new or do well, are you your best cheerleader who celebrates or do you make biting negative comments?
- Are you loyal to your needs or do you forsake them to make other people happy at your expense?
Also, consider whether you are ensuring your physical, emotional, and intellectual needs are being met.
- Do you feed yourself nutritious food, make physical movement a priority, and treat your body with care?
- Do you surround yourself with people who care for you?
- Do you make an effort to always learn something new about the world and yourself?
This month, recommit to mothering and teaching yourself in the best possible ways. The miracle of the universe is that the love we need to give ourselves does not always come from the people who should have been the early providers of that love. The love we need to give ourselves comes from the universe. It is all out there, just waiting on you to grab it and feel yourself up with all the love and care you can handle.
- It’s in the warm yummy bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal you eat. All that comes from the Earth. It is there, waiting on you to pour into yourself.
- It’s in the flowers that bloom all over the planet. Those flowers bloom for you! Consider planting your own small garden of flowers that will bring a smile to your face when you pull in from work or are washing dishes in the window.
- It’s in a million things that we often take for granted like a child waving to you from a school bus, a stranger paying for your coffee, or a call out of nowhere from a friend who says, “You were on my mind”.
Here are more tips on how to deeply love yourself. This is how you mother and teach yourself for life. Give yourself all of the love and care your heart desires. Believe you are worthy of all the beautiful things this life sends your way.