How do I parent my child in this political climate? How do we celebrate our country while recognizing its flaws? The history of the United States is complicated and messy. It has its positives and negatives, and we can learn from both in the same way that we can learn from the positives and negatives within ourselves or any situation we encounter.
In recent years there have been efforts to put lots of things on pedestals where we as a society refuse to look at them in their fullness. Some have wanted to do this with our country and the history that we teach about how we became who we are today. There have been proposals to minimize or whitewash the often violent and uncomfortable history that is part of the United States, but these proposals do not get us where we need to be.
We sometimes see parents do something similar with their children, and as a general rule, most people would say this is problematic. Putting one’s child on a pedestal and ignoring or minimizing their faults does not make the child better; rather, it makes it difficult to accept boundaries or constructive criticism. Sometimes parents think that supporting their child means taking their child’s side no matter the issue. But being a good parent means allowing a child to see the natural consequences of their actions while still showing them love. As tough as this may be for us as parents, it is necessary.
We can be proud of our children and love them with every fiber of our being, while simultaneously acknowledging that our children are imperfect and make mistakes. Sometimes they do downright stupid things that drive us bananas. We can lovingly explain their errors, allow them to understand the consequences they face from their decisions, and still support them.
Our country is no different. We can love our country while also seeing its flaws. We can learn all the true history of our country while still noticing all of the things (the good and the bad) to help us move forward with our hearts and our eyes wide open, and just a little closer to that dream of a perfect union.
One of my favorite authors said something that I hope we can all hold onto today as we celebrate the United States of America:
“I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”