It might seem strange to have a post about showing empathy on Halloween, but there is a need for it. Just because people are dressed up in costumes doesn’t mean that we can turn off our empathy muscles. There are several simple shifts we can make to make the halloween experience a good one for kids and adults alike.
Examples of Halloween Empathy Gone Wrong
While most people give out candy happily to anyone and everyone on October 31, it isn’t unusual to see someone on social media disparaging older teens who go trick-or-treating or complaining about kids who need special candy due to allergies. Sometimes people even complain that the kids trick-or-treating in their neighborhoods don’t live in that neighborhood.
Empathy means turning on our perspective taking skills and putting ourselves in someone else’s situation. When it comes to Halloween, not everyone views the day in the same way.
Here are 5 suggestions to help you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and show empathy.
5 Ways to Show Empathy on Halloween
Respect Everyones Beliefs Around Halloween
For some, Halloween is a cherished time full of creativity and fun. For others, it is seen as a taboo event to be avoided at all costs. Then, there are plenty of people in between who opt for traditional fall activities instead of a Halloween themed activity.
Respecting these differing beliefs means acknowledging and accepting the variety of perspectives people may have. Instead of judging or dismissing customs that differ from your own, we can strive to maintain an understanding attitude and an open mind.
It is not your job to convince someone else to take on your beliefs. Our job, as empathetic humans, is to listen respectfully and find a way to honor that person and their beliefs.
That could mean going to a fall fest with one set of friends and then trick-or-treating with another. It could mean skipping by the houses who choose to keep their lights off during trick-or-treating hours without judgement. We don’t have to all celebrate the same way to have a happy Halloween.
Inclusive Trick or Treating
If you are going to give out candy, decide to graciously give it to everyone—no age limits, no zip code requirements, just fun for all.
Avoid Judgement
Families who don’t live in your neighborhood may be visiting because the don’t have a neighborhood to trick-or-treat in. Maybe their neighbors don’t participate or they don’t feel safe going door-to-door after dark. You wouldn’t want parents worrying about their kids safety as they are out trick-or-treating. Be grateful they made it to your door and welcome them with a smile.
If you see older teens joining in the trick-or-treat fun, don’t judge! They may be out with younger siblings or just looking for an innocent way to have fun with friends.
The old phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” applies here just as much as it does any other day. It is impossible to know someone’s story just by looking at them.
Have Allergen-Friendly Options
If you are able, consider having an allergy-friendly treat bucket with non-food items like stickers, small toys, or glow sticks for children with food allergies. Marking your house on the Teal Pumpkin Project website is a great way to let families know that your home is allergy-friendly. It is a small gesture that goes a long way in making kids with nut allergies or other sensitivities feel welcome.
Be Wheelchair Accessible
Another easy way to make your home an inclusive trick-or-treat stop is to think about wheelchair-accessible paths for trick-or-treaters with mobility challenges.
Instead of sitting your candy bowl up a flight of stairs, move it to the middle of the driveway or closer to the sidewalk. Again, it is a small shift that only takes a few seconds of your time but makes a world of difference for the children and families who need it.
Be Conscious of Your Costume
This conversation comes up every year around Halloween but it is still one worth having. When choosing a costume, make sure it is respectful to others.
Cultural appropriation happens when someone adopts aspects of a culture that is not their own, often without understanding or respecting the significance behind those elements. Costumes that portray stereotypes contribute to harmful racial and ethnic biases. People’s cultures are not appropriate costumes.
There is a great flowchart from the Louisville Cardinal that can help you decide if you or your child’s Halloween costume might be offensive to someone.
By making thoughtful choices and refraining from donning costumes that mimic or mock specific cultures, you show respect for the rich diversity and heritages of the beautiful world around us.
Keep it Kid Friendly
The majority of the people out trick-or-treating are young kids. Unfortunately, many children get scared by the spooky decorations and loud noises.
To help kiddos avoid sensory overload you might turn the sound off on your creepy decor when young kids come to your door. Or you could have a path that leads you through the scary stuff for older kids and another straight path that allows kids to get straight to the candy.
If you do choose to take the scary route with your decorations or costumes, maybe set up a warning sign so that parents of young kids can choose to pass by if they know their kids won’t handle it well.
Being empathetic doesn’t mean you can’t have any fun on Halloween. It does mean you take the time to consider how your choices may impact others and try to create an option that won’t cause harm.
Make an Effort to Meet Your Neighbors
What other time of the year is it OK to just walk up to your neighbors door and say hi?! Halloween offers a great opportunity to meet your neighbors and foster a bit of connection. When you make an effort to introduce yourself and learn about those living around you, it breaks down barriers and often challenges preconceived notions.
It is a lot easier to hold off getting mad at your neighbor for their uncut grass when you know that neighbor by name and are aware that they are caring for an elderly parent at the moment. The loud kids next door are a little less frustrating when you remember there are 5 of them being raised by a single mom.
By understanding different perspectives and experiences, we become more empathic and create a more supportive environment. A few Halloween connections could inspire more compassionate interactions all year long!
Be Empathetic This Halloween
Since the 1800s, Halloween has been about community and togetherness. Your community is more than just the one or two people who live on either side of us or across the street. As I talk about in my book This is the Earth, we are all part of one big community.
So inside of looking for ways to divide us this Halloween, choose empathy. Try to make your celebration as inclusive and loving as possible.
More Resources on Empathy
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